Thursday, December 18, 2008

How did we get here??

September 17th 2008

Life is what you make it! When you're at your lowest and it seems hopeless it's easy to wallow in the misery and despair. I am not in the highest of places at the moment and yet I am finding things to be grateful for constantly. Simple things...the roof over my head,clothes on my back, food in belly. I have a beautiful family, amazing friends, the cutest dogs...a lot of love in my life.
I have spent a lot of my life taking things for granted which is probably what led me to moments when abundance just did'nt seem to flow. You can't be ready to achieve what you dream of till you are able to appreciate what you already have.
I have made the mistake of thinking I am running out of time and focusing on the clock ticking away. That kept me from being able to enjoy the things that were happening just then. It deprived me of NOW!
I have cleaned house with people in my life and I've learned to put up walls when necessary to keep the wrong ones out. I have learned to appreciate the tiny things about friends and people in general. Punctuality for example...people who are always late feel that their time is more important than everyone else's. I don't need that in my life. I expect to be treated with the same courtesy and respect with which I treat others.
I have learned to believe little of what I hear from people and I choose instead to observe their actions. Try it and you will probably find a lot of contradictions.
I have made so many mistakes in my life but I am not gonna feel bad about them anymore. I am gonna do what I have been doing which is learn from them and grow. Regret and guilt only keep me stuck in the past and that deprives me of NOW!
I arrived at this moment from a painstaking process that involved a lot of sweat, blood, and tears. Now I am grateful for all of it. It gave me the gift of being able to see what I have got and appreciate it so i can truly get to where i am meant to be. It allowed me to let go of my mistakes with dignity and wisdom gained. It allowed me to let go of unrealistic expectations and in the process gain something far greater than i ever conceived.It allowed me to love myself and others and give others the chance to love me back.
I am here and NOW and for the time in my life I think I might just be content

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