love!?

December 10th 2006

How does one define that which you cannot see, hear, or touch? How do you have faith in the existence of what is an intangible and often transient emotion? Love is none of these things. It can be seen, heard, and touched. It can be tangible and permanent. Love is also all of these things sometimes, or rather there is the existence of an illusion of love, an ideal so powerful it fools you.

I have been in love, lust, and infatuation. All of these at times felt like the same thing. The hormones can cloud the senses as can a fleeting crush. I have certainly had my senses clouded by both. As one matures and gains experience with real love the heart gains clarity and begins to learn to discern what is real from that which is an illusion.

To define love you have to accept the subjectivity of its definition. To each human being love is something uniquely felt, experienced and.., defined?

For me love is the moment that you look at someone and embrace them exactly as they are. My mother always said "You like people for their qualities you love them for their faults". To me this is the simplest way to say it. When someone's idiosyncrasies and absurd habits become that which you cannot live without rather than that which you cannot abide you are most assuredly in love. At least I know I am.

Love is also a generosity that takes one outside yourself. You are suddenly doing things that require that you go out of your way and practice true selflessness. You find yourself giving with a fervor that you cannot believe was possible. You have a joy in giving that cannot be described with words.

Love is a patience that is almost infinite. You find a level of tolerance for the shortcomings and misgivings of another that you have believed was had only by saints. You find room for forgiveness even when the sting of another's misdeeds still bites at your heart.

Love is a passion that overwhelms you. You look at someone or smell their pillow or the shirt they left behind and you can think of nothing else. To touch them, hold them, kiss them..there is nothing on earth that you would rather do more. Chasing each other around the house, playing dress up in the bedroom, kissing on the sofa for hours. Knowing each others buttons and when to push them. Having hot, steamy nights and quiet romantic ones too these are gifts that love bestows upon the bearer.

Love is a moment when you decide that you have let go of your pretenses and then you jump sans parachute into the abyss. It is a risk and gamble that you become willing to take because you can't live without the object of your affection. Love is also a lifetime! A lifetme of togetherness or memories it leaves in its wake.

Love is an equality between two people that is unshakeable, It is when two people share a definition and approach to love and a foundation can be laid upon it. It is the choice between 2 whole and complete individuals to share their individual lives with one another and create a third life. The life they will call "US".

Love is a pain that cuts so deeply it is only rivaled in despair by death itself. There is no agony like that wrought upon the heart of one who has been betrayed by the one they love. Only worse is to be abandoned by them.

Love is a force that drives us sometimes to heights we never knew the human heart could reach and sometimes to depths we wish it could not fathom. In the end though, it is the very thing that binds us together. It is the motivation of almost every living to thing to love or to be loved. It is the thing that destroys our spirits only to rebuild them again later. It is the thing that we never give up on no matter how much or how often it disappoints us. It teaches us our most valuable life lessons. It is the gift that universe gives us to make our lives worthwhile.

Love often, love wisely, love carelessly, love generously, love unconditionally, love yourself first and then let someone love you back!